Lost and Forgotten
by Lotus-Curse
Summary: Tick, tock, tick, tock….was the sound that would be heard from the clock when it struck twelve.


**Summary story**: Tick, tock, tick, tock….was the sound that would be heard from the clock when it struck twelve...

**Pairing(s)**: Kanda x Allen

**Disclaimer**: I don't own D. Gray-man.

* * *

><p>Tick, tock, tick, tock….was the sound that would be heard from the clock when it struck twelve; slowly I laid my pen down on my desk as I had been writing a few letters before putting them in separate envelopes. I used a candle as a light source to help me see as I wrote down my thoughts before taking the same candle, tilting it slightly and letting the melted wax fall upon the envelopes. I then used the base of the candle stand to seal it closed.<p>

I sighed tiredly as I hadn't had a good night sleep in a few days, with the fights, arguments and the avoidance of pretty much everyone, I didn't care for them…they all could go to hell for all I care. No...I take that back, only a few I truly cared about and they were the reason I was doing this. For THEM.

Slowly I got up from my chair, before heading to sit on the bed as I then leaned forward to place my elbows on my knees and my fingers laced together. I stared down at the floor, my mind somewhere else as I remembered them say:

_"I don't want you to ever talk to me again!"_

_"How could you be so insensitive? I regret ever meeting you!"_

_"After all this time…I suddenly realize that I am better off without you!"_

I just smirked sadly as those words pierced more in my heart and burned what little soul I had left; I always taught myself that isolation from others would be the best way to keep myself from getting hurt and to keep my sanity in check but THEY had to change that small part of me…THEY had to go and crumble this hard wall that I had created throughout my years around my heart. There was a reason to not let anyone close to me but…THEY managed to break that. Damn THEM.

Soon I heard the clock again; it was time for me to leave. I picked up my luggage with my personal items, along with Mugen. I then stood up and started to walk towards the door only to stop for a moment and looked over my shoulder, seeing my hourglass with the cursed yet beautiful lotus that held my life. It only had one petal left. No one knew about it, except for Komui and Hevleska, I begged them…I actually begged them to not say a word to THEM, that I knew what I was doing and with sadness in their eyes, they accepted my request. I knew that the higher ups were sending me to this dangerous mission, I told them I would…on one condition. That I would do it alone. Luckily for me, they conceded.

I closed the door to my room, making sure it was locked as I then turned to my left and started to walk down the corridor. I sighed quietly and looked around, taking in every detail of this damn, dark building, remembering where was each room I visited, which room were the ones that I held some type of…happiness…and where I met THEM. I couldn't stop myself and let a sad smile appear on my face, I knew THEY hated me, THEY didn't want anything to do with me…but that was alright, I deserved it.

I reached the first door, placed an enveloped on the ground with a single name, a sweet name that it brought cheerfulness in my chest and a soft warmth on my cheeks. How much I will miss her concern every time I returned from a mission. Or the way she would visit me to see that I was alright. But she had her brother…her REAL brother to take care of her. I was not needed.

Soon I reached the next door, placing yet another envelope on the ground, a single name over it…well, it was more like a nickname but it will do. I hate to admit it but I will miss him calling me by my first name, always grinning like the idiot he was, always so damn smart, seriously...he needed to be less hyper sometimes…but then again, he wouldn't be who he was. He had his master; he had others to take care of him. I was not needed.

Finally my last stop, I stared at the door for a moment, blinking a few times as this would be the only time I would say his name. I whispered it gently…letting it roll over my tongue, well I used the R instead of the L but it sounded the same right? I then placed an envelope on the ground. I think I would miss him the most, always smiling, keeping others happy with his stupidity and hope. But that was what he was, everyone's beacon of hope….I will cherish that the most and the first person to actually reach into my heart and squirmed his way in. Che, little bastard. He had everyone in this whole place; he had the other two with him at all time, besides…he had that damn cat to keep him from being lonely. I am not needed.

As I walked away from my home, a heaviness grew on my shoulders and in my heart with each step I took. But that was alright, I don't mind I was trained for this…I suffered worse when I was in their hands so many years ago. I walked alone through the terrain as I gripped Mugen tightly in my hand, I felt the stinging sensation in my eyes but I refused to let them shed…after all I'm Kanda Yuu…and this was my fate. As long as I had the memories of soft plum eyes, mischievous green and soft, loving silver…that was all that mattered to me.

I know they would mourn, or maybe not, who knows but as long as I had some type of humanity still in me when I fall, I can safely say that…I don't regret letting them break my walls. They were after all my friends.


End file.
